As I write this I am trying to determine how many minutes ago we got the phone call. I am not sure but I do know I am still within the minutes range and not the hours range. This is fresh stuff.
Her story is not my story to tell so no names or identifying information will be used. I care about and respect the privacy of her loved ones.
I can say that I like her quite a bit. I can talk about how we met, the memories I hold of her, and what still keeps us tethered with her physical presence gone.
I liked this girl. She was younger than me but I could see some bits of myself in her personality. She had likely been through more in her life than I will ever know. Through whatever hells she walked in her life she remained kind, optimistic, hopeful.
How did we meet? Well, we met her through her younger brother. We are going to need some context for this not to be creepy...
Back in 2016 I was pregnant with our youngest and we were renting a house in the New Orleans area. It was our first Halloween in this neighborhood and my spouse asked a kid walking down the street if we will get a lot of trick or treaters. We chat for a little bit and so starts our story with The Kid.
In the weeks and months that pass we start to encourage a friendship between our older son and The Kid. We knew we had a baby on the way and having a friend might be helpful when it feels like our house is overrun with diapers, screams, and baby puke. It did help. They played with nerf guns for hours in the yard, made bonfires, and at one point threw an original Nirvana CD in the flames before we could stop them. We got to know The Kid more. We learned he had lost his mom earlier that year and he was in need of extra support too. We started to build a sense of community.
We got closer to The Kid's family through the years. His dad and stepmom lived a few houses down and there were birthday parties and such to attend. Sometimes we would see them around town. One Mardi Gras we met his older sister.
Mardi Gras parades are the perfect opportunity for youth to walk. That's it. Just walk. I swear, it’s a whole culture thing that happens before the parade starts. Well, sometimes The Kid would walk past our claimed spot on side of the highway. No worries. Everything is barricaded at this point, no traffic. Kids are playing football in the street. There's a shortage of open area and late comers are trying to squeeze their ways into spots. Food vendors are selling 2 ft corndogs. It’s a good day and sometimes people (mostly tweens & teens) you know walk by the spot you've claimed for the festivities. One of those times The Kid walked over to us and then texted his older sister our location so she too could walk over to us. I would assume she was curious about these people her little brother, who has already been through so much, is always talking about taking care of him. We met, we chatted, and we shared a common goal: We were all committed to helping The Kid grow up safe and find some healing.
Through the years she would reach out to me or my spouse to check in about The Kid. The high school years held lots of opportunities for that. Sometimes, if we had a weird midnight text from The Kid and thought he might be in trouble we would reach out to her. We had an unofficial-shared-custody-arrangement for our kid, The Kid. We made a good team.
The Kid made it out of high school and joined the military this year in honor of his mother's memory. He is in training right now and just learned this news an hour or so ago. He just found out his older sister died earlier today unexpectedly. She is gone and there is so much loss there. The Kid we teamed up with her to raise is still here and in pain and there is so much loss there.
This is a solemn day and I hope this helps keep the memory of who she is alive: an amazing older sister, daughter, granddaughter, friend, and an overall beautiful person. She is a part of our family, is loved, & will be missed.